yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
