hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
