Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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