I heard we made out
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
