Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
