Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
