no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
