Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
