Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
