I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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