Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
