I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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