i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
