I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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