This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
