What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
