well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
