3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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