Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We're too hungover to prance.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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