The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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