at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
