I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think i have two assholes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
