Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
