Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
