This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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