He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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