VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
