With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I got inside last night via doggy door
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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