K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
