Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
