Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
