Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize