If that was your dad, he is hot
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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