He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
