If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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