is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
