I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
