ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
