"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
