The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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