My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
