Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
