my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
