Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
