He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
