if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
