This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
