you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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