a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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