Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
