today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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