Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
