we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
