the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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