He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
