It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
