Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
