So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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